new blog

i just started a new blog project called "grey" over on tumblr. check it out: danielcouper.tumblr.com

grace and peace,

daniel

at the foot of manhood's mountain

i wrote this poem on the eve of my eighteenth birthday. it's the first poem that i've written without music, and the rhythm and rhyme didn't turn out exactly as planned, but it's from my heart. i was inspired mostly by maya angelou's poem "i know why the caged bird sings". i believe she was talking more about physical slavery than about slavery to the world itself, so i decided to add my own little touch. both topics deserve to be broached. my prayer is that eighteen (and whatever age you happen to be) would somehow really bring the freedom that's more true than the freedom the world sings to you when you're almost eighteen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

freedom's the song that lulls me to sleep

at the foot of manhood's mountain steep

resting now to climb the stronger

to live a pleasured life the longer

to be my own self, just like the songbird

with naught but joy and peace to reap

but i feel not like a bird of the sky

preparing himself to leap into flight

i am that bird that's locked up in a cage

indulging in vanities day after day

with dwindling courage but increasing rage

too scared to live and unwilling to die

for i've heard the sound of an opening door

and i've felt the depths of the Lion's roar

but my wings have been clipped and my feet are tied

and it seems to be harder to learn to fly

than to stay in my cage and from freedom hide

so life remains easy, familiar, and poor

so finally now, in the darkness of night

comes a plea to be not only guided by Light

but prodded and pushed from the inside and out

and that hope would replace every inkling of doubt

so that i'd have the peace to dive into the Fount

of that life unknown but longed for despite

More Thoughts on the Cross

So I've kind of given up on having a consistent blog with consistent readers, as you may be able to tell. Life is full enough without trying to think of something to write every few days. On top of that, I gave up computers and t.v. and the like for Lent, so even in these past weeks, when I perhaps did have something to write, I wasn't able to post it. But that's not even the point of this at all...

My point does, however, somewhat relate to the Lenten season. I have indeed been thinking quite a bit. One thing in particular that has struck me is something I learned about crucifixion. In general, though the pain of being nailed to a cross and hanging there until you die would be so incredibly excruciating, a larger purpose of crucifixion in general is to bring shame upon the 'evildoers' who sin against Caesar, the 'son of god.' Criminals were hung in front of the crowds completely naked, nothing secret, nothing "personal."

I've been intrigued recently (recently being the past few years...) about the meaning of the Scripture where Jesus says "deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me." What does it mean to take up your cross? I tossed up some thoughts about the sacrifice that it represented to Jesus in particular, and how we are called to sacrifice in the same way, because we are called to be like Him. But to the average Joe, crosses didn't represent sacrificing some element of oneself for the boon of another. For the average Joe, the cross represented shame. I think part of what Jesus is saying in "take up your cross" is about accepting the fact that we are sinners, and not hiding from that. It's about accepting our identity in Christ, not in ourselves. Being and doing as Christ has taught, not living simply to flourish our own reputations. In fact, quite the opposite perhaps. Some... most... of my deepest "God moments" have sprung from thoughts of my own sin, sprung from times where I feel so destitute and hypocritical that I don't even care if people know my deepest, innermost struggles, sins, darkness, hate, evil... flesh. That is where I am coming from. But we are not defined by our beginnings. We are defined by our Goal, our Aim, our Journey.

Furthermore, it sucks to have something embarrassing brought out in the open. Deep sins hurt even worse. It's almost like... dying. It destroys your reputation. Maybe that's the point though. We need to open those sins to the light, that we might die to them, and rise again with Christ into glory and life.

That being said, I'm gonna lay some stuff out on the table. I confess these things that you might pray with me for the triumph over them. But more so, I think, I bring them out that we might rejoice together in the God who brings us out of such despondency onto His shining shores.

I struggle with pride. I struggle with lust. I struggle with laziness. I struggle to live consistently for Christ, remembering Him in everything. I struggle to love with true, unconditional love. I have a hard time sometimes even wanting to come back to God.

Please pray for me.

Peace,

Daniel

When I Have Fears

By: John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,
Before high-pilèd books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripened grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starred face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace,
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;--then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

no reason for absence...

hey, it's been a really long time since i've posted here. way too long. but life is.. life. if you are really yearning for some more of my groundbreakingly insightful thoughts on life, God, and the universe, you might find some mixed in with a bunch of other stuff at www.intensifyonline.blogspot.com. this is the blog i'm running for a youth ministry in the area called... intensify. anyways, check it out if you want. that's where i've been for a while.

I'm Nobody! Who are you?

(The Loser, Part II)
By: Emily Dickenson

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you -- Nobody -- Too?
Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!
They'd advertise -- you know!

How dreary -- to be -- Somebody!
How public -- like a Frog --
To tell one's name -- the livelong June --
To an admiring Bog!

The Loser

I was rocking out to Switchfoot today on my way home from driving a friend to his house. Switchfoot rocks. Hence me rocking out to their music. Anyways, there I was driving along when the guys start into a song with a groovy riff at the beginning of it. I start into that head groove bounce thing that lets people know I'm way cool enough to be "feeling" the music, but I'm definitely not a wierdo-idiot-moron-loser kid flailing his hands in the air wildly. I'm too cool for that. Jon Foreman starts to sing:

"Only the losers win / They've got nothing to prove / They'll leave the world with nothing to lose / You can laugh at the weirdos now / Wait till wrongs are right / They'll be the ones with nothing to hide"

So if the losers are winners, what does that make the cool kids? The superstars? The popular ones? The ones with all the fans? I think most people with any religious affiliation whatsoever are familiar with the Bible verse that says not to store up treasures on earth, so that when you get to eternity (which, as a side note, I don't believe you "get to eternity" . . . more on that later) you will have everlasting treasures.

I think there is another aspect to this concept though. Storing up treasures in heaven is a very abstract concept. Most things about God are very abstract. If they weren't, God wouldn't be God. If we understood God completely, He would not by so . . . mystical. All that to say, I believe God stuck another, more concrete aspect on to this concept of not making yourself so cool now that you can't be cool later. Of course in eternity there is no "later." But that's beside the point.

About three paragraphs into writing this, my dad called us all to a devotional time. I was hesitant to go. I was really having a great time blogging. But off I went, cause dad is dad, and dad knows best. Turns out, he often does. Anyways, we settled in on the tree and the chaff in Psalm 1. The whole chapter is not long; I'll put it down here.

1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

I didn't know what chaff was. I looked it up. In case anyone else is as oblivious as I, chaff is what covers the seed in fast growing grains such as wheat and barley. (During devotions I pretended to know what it was so that I could remain an intelligent component in the conversation. I recently had it impressed upon me that this is a bad idea. Wisdom asks. That came from dad.) So dad told us about how trees grow slowly, but they grow to be massive, powerful, fruitful things. And trees never stop growing. Chaff on the other hand, springs up in less than a year, but is thrown away at harvest time.

We were made to be trees. We weren't made for instant fame. Almost every person out of high school that I've talked to about the subject has said that the cool kids in high school are the losers now. Either that or they're just never heard from again. Losers only have one direction to go. When you're at the bottom, there's not much that can pull you down any farther. And loser is a partial word. No loser is a loser at everything. This is also the same for winners, in an opposite sense. No winner is a winner at everything. Nobody's perfect. And there's always somebody better.

"When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

That was Jesus. That is one of the most simple, down to earth things I can recall him saying. It's like bragging about being the best basketball player (and maybe you even exaggerate a little bit) and then some loser comes around and shows you up like nobody's business.

Only the losers win / they've got nothing to prove / they'll leave the world with nothing to lose

I wish I was a rockstar. Right now I ask people to take pictures of the band. If I were really a rockstar, I might even be asking the obvious. Pictures don't make the band, popularity doesn't make the man. I think I've written a little bit about meekness before. I work really hard at being meek. Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth. That sounds like fun. I think meekness is knowing between you and God that you're so cool in His eyes, that you don't need popularity to affirm that for you.

My prayer is that God would bless you and I with that kind of confidence. That we would let our actions speak, and keep our prideful, exaggerant words to ourselves.

I've been thinking / thinking I've got a plan to lose it all / I've got a contract pending on eternity / if I haven't already given it away / I've got a plan to lose it all